Max is dead?
by ThreeHotelRooms
Summary: The flock thinks Max is dead, but she isn't really. That's the basic plot. Mostly I just wrote this to try to make Fang hot and see what I'd make him do. Max's gotta get back to the flock with the help of Angel, who is sure she's alive. Just read it.
1. Chapter 1

He knew he loved her. There was no avoiding the fact. He still did, nothing could change that, probably never. It made this whole thing so much more unendurable to admit it to himself. If he had done something, gotten the flock away, would it have happened? Would she be there, sitting next to him?

He breathed once, deeply, and stared out the window. His hand was clenched into a fist, his body shaking slightly with the effort of keeping himself under control. He breathed slowly a few more times, each intake of air staggered and shaky. He could do this. He could carefully store away all his emotions, save them for later. Every muscle and brain cell and drop of moisture in his body was screaming at him to break down, to give up, to mourn the loss of the only reason he bothered living in the first place.

His whole body was shaking now, but he shut his eyes and thought of something, anything to distract him, while carefully locking his emotions in a box and throwing away the key. He was the leader now. He didn't have time for this.

He looked over at Nudge and Angel in the seat across from him, who both had fat tears rolling down their face. Angel would occasionally let out a sob, and all the passengers in the bus would glance over and forget her seconds later.

Fang was irrationally angry. Who were these people, to go along with their normal lives, without a care in the world? Didn't they know that Maximum Ride was gone forever? Didn't they care?

The Gasman was sitting behind Nudge and Angel, trying as hard as he could not to cry. Max had always called him her little trooper; he would be trying not to let her down. Iggy had his head resting against the window, his forehead bumping along with the bus as it rolled down the road. Fang couldn't see his face.

How had this happened? Why? What did he do to deserve this, this pain that was worse than anything he could have ever imagined? He closed his eyes again, gasping quietly. As tightly as he clenched his eyelids, he couldn't stop the tear that slid down his face.

For a moment, he thought he had lost control, but he straightened back up in his seat and opened his eyes. He could only imagine how dead they looked – about as dead as he felt inside.

But at least he had gotten it over with it. Now, at least, even though he hadn't expressed half of the emotion sitting in the back of his mind, he had succumbed to the pain for at least a few seconds, and it had seemed to help him slightly. He could save the rest for when he and the flock were safe, when he was alone with himself.

For now he would be the leader, silent, strong, and unemotional. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to function.

"Just stop, Fang," Iggy said. His voice was calm but Fang could hear the anger sitting somewhere behind it.

Fang looked up, not caring, his eyes feeling strangely empty.

"Stop pretending nothing happened, Fang! We all know she's – You can't go around pretending nothing's changed! Look at Angel," he motioned to her hair as she sobbed in his lap, and then kissed the top of her head. "Look at all of us, you especially! You're wearing them out, trying to make them pretend not to be sad. Just stop." He was pissed.

Fang shrugged, keeping his eyes firmly focused on the ground. "I never told you guys you had to pretend anything," he said. He didn't know what Iggy's problem was. He _needed _to pretend nothing happened. If he didn't, he would fall apart. Couldn't Iggy understand that?

"That's crap, and you know it. Just stop and let us…let us stay somewhere, rest, I don't care. Fang, you're falling apart. If you don't know it, I do, so you can stop pretending! We all need to stop pretending." He added in a whisper.

Fang didn't know what to say. "Fine," he said shortly, and let the subject drop. "Do we have any food? I guess the bag with all the food was with –" he broke off, and when he starting talking again his voice was oddly choked. "Well, I guess we need to go get some food, then. Iggy, you can take Gazzy and Nudge, Angel and I will find a place to crash for tonight."

His voice wasn't very leader-like at all, but the flock needed direction. This was going to be a long night.

----

Fang looked at Angel, who was sitting in his lap. She had fallen asleep crying fifteen minutes ago, but she was still clutching tightly to his jacket. She seemed happier in her sleep, smiling and muttering "Max."

Fang checked on all the other flock members, made sure they were all safe and sleeping. He knew a good leader would never abandon his flock, especially when he was supposed to be on watch, but if he had to hear her name one more time he was going to crack.

So he ran through the forest, the only sound of his movement coming from the soft grass underneath his feet. Finally he found a clearing, completely empty. Other people would have found the silence of the forest unnerving, but instead it comforted him.

He silently sat down on the ground, aware that he was losing it. He felt crazy. Nothing in the world mattered to him, except maybe the flock. The only thing he was aware of in the world is that Max wasn't in it anymore.

He wasn't sure of what happened next, but before he knew it, he was on the ground, with his head in his knees, sobbing – so quietly that it might not count as sobbing. Actually, he knew he was barely making a sound as he let the waves of anguish pass over him.

If there had been random passerby, they would have dismissed the look on his face as slightly sad or mildly disappointed. Maybe he had gotten a lower grade than he expected on a test, or maybe his parents had refused to let him go out to the movies. If some people were really good readers, they might have assumed, at the worst, that his girlfriend had dumped him. If Max was here she would think he was in extreme pain and rush to the flock to make sure everyone was okay.

Tears couldn't have fallen out of his eyes even if he had wanted them to. All he could do was sit there and cry quietly, muttering Max's name and wondering how he could have let this happen.

He would never see Max again. No matter what he did, for the rest of his life, he would never see her - smiling, laughing, eating, crying, flying, arguing, or even moving ever again. He accepted this as he sat with his arms in his knees, making quiet but odd half crying, half choking noises that seemed completely wrong – as a lot of emotions did – coming from him.

Time, these last few days, had for Fang seemed to flash by extremely quickly and move unbearably slowly at the same time, so when he finally looked up he had no idea how long he had been sitting there. It was still dark out, however, so he knew it wasn't morning. That meant there was a chance that the flock was still asleep.

He stood up, slightly dizzy with remaining emotion, and straightened his face back out. He looked around, his old paranoid self returning. He could see or hear no one, so for the moment he was safe. He hadn't been able to think clearly since Max – well, you know – and that didn't change now, but he was aware that if he didn't get back to the flock soon, they would start to worry.

Even so, he didn't feel like going back. He wasn't completely himself yet, and he wasn't sure he could bear it if Iggy started to yell at him again. The flock needed to rest, he had said. Let them stay somewhere for a while. Where, a hotel? Because that had just worked out _so _well last time, he thought.

The answer seemed to present itself to Fang. He had thought that the forest seemed vaguely familiar to him, but had been too confused and broken to recognize it. As he walked through a few more trees, he saw the house of Dr. Valencia Martinez.

It was dark out, but he could still see the small – at least, compared with Anne's – house in the clearing. He remembered seeing Dr. Martinez step out of the front door, watching Max and her embrace. The whole area was illuminated with moonlight, which probably should have made the house look slightly creepy, but somehow managed to make it look even safer and warmer compared with its eerie surroundings.

How could he not have recognized the area? Fang resisted the urge to smack his forehead with the palm of his hand. He needed to start paying attention to his surroundings. If he kept on this way, he would be putting the flock in danger by leading like this.

Then he corrected himself. This wasn't a coincidence. He thought about where he had been heading the flock the past few days, and realized his coming here hadn't been a coincidence at all. He had been leading them here the whole time.

Fang himself must have been, without knowing, searching for some comfort, or reminder of Max, or whatever the crap. He didn't feel like getting into his feelings. These days it always meant bad news.

Of course, Dr. Martinez would be surprised at seeing them back so quickly, and without Max, but it wasn't as if Fang could lie or hide it. After all, she was Max's mother, and deserved to know what had happened.

He turned on his heel and ran back through the forest to get the flock.

-----

Angel sat down. On the table was a large plate of freshly baked cookies. The smell reminded her of sitting at the table with Max, so she kind of smiled and cried at the same time.

It had the same effect on most of the rest of the flock. The look of always-sadness in their eyes didn't go away completely, but Nudge even smiled. It was her first that she had seen since Max had been gone, Angel noticed. That was good, at least.

She scanned the flock's thoughts, and found the usual - their current thoughts, thoughts about Max, thoughts about what would happen to them. Most of the time Angel couldn't stand listening to them being sad, because it just made her sadder. She mostly avoided it.

Fang was sitting on the couch away from the flock, as usual, his face hard and distant, as usual. Angel hadn't looked into his mind since the day after Max left and hadn't wanted to go back. Listening to his thoughts just made her want to cry whenever she tried. If she had thought _she _was sad, it was nothing compared to what she heard there. It was just private and so, so depressing. She gave him his space.

Now Angel focused her thoughts on him again. To her surprise, she didn't hear much, as, for the most part, he wasn't thinking anything. It wasn't like Jeb's mind had been at the school, though, the blank empty silence. It was like he was _trying _to keep the thoughts out of his head.

Angel jumped slightly as a picture of Max's face jumped to Fang's head. She watched him closely as he pushed it from his mind. She stared. His face was impassive, but his hand was clenched into a fist. She supposed everyone dealt with things differently, and Fang just didn't like to show it. That was okay with her, though.

Max would come back. Angel just knew she would.

When Max came back Fang would be happy again. She remembered when the flock had reunited, how relieved Fang had felt. He'd be super-excited when Max came back now. She pictured Max walking in through the door. They'd rush at each other like the first time, and Max would collapse in Fang's arms, and Fang would cry in her hair and ask wasn't she dead? And she'd say she never was, and he was tell her how much he was sad and missed her, and then they'd hug and maybe even kiss and tears would come out of Fang's eyes and it would all be pretty.

Fang hadn't cried since Max left, as far as Angel knew. That was weird. Wasn't everyone supposed to cry when they thought someone was dead? Fang was always like that, though. Angel had never once seen him cry. Not ever. Maybe that was what made Fang Fang, she supposed. Not crying. And loving Max. And being strong and liking girls and being a little cocky. That sounded about right.

He was having issues, though. She considered telling him that Max was coming back. He wouldn't believe her, though, she could tell. She should just let them be happy whenever.

The rest of the flock had cried too. Angel had caught Iggy crying in his room. Nudge cried all the time, loudly. Angel did, too. She knew a part of her believed Max was gone forever too. She tried not to listen to it, most of the time. Her brother was the worst, though. He blamed himself almost as much as Fang did. And Iggy. Maybe it was a boy thing. Or a blame-yourself-when-someone-else-dies thing.

Angel bit into a chocolate chip cookie. Maybe she could ask Max later.


	2. Chapter 2

I groaned in agony and tried to take the pain away from my leg

I groaned in agony and tried to take the pain away from my leg. The hard cave walls and floor seemed to be cutting into me at all angles and I couldn't breathe. _Some healing powers would come in handy right about now, _I thought to myself.

On top of that, I had no idea where the flock had gotten to and couldn't stop myself worrying. If only I could get myself the hell out of here then I could find them and everything would be good.

If they were still kickin', where the heck were they? I mean, here I am sitting in a cave and heavily injured with no food or water, and they're not looking for me? They obviously must have some good reason – hopefully not one that involved any of them being harmed – but dang, could I go for a huge cheeseburger right then.

We had been separated only maybe a day ago – well, it was daytime when I fell asleep and it's daytime now, so that's what I'm going by, anyways. Flyboys were attacking.

Sitting here, though, isolated, wishing Fang would show up with the flock and – ugh – rescue me, the whole event seemed like a huge, unrealistic dream. We'd been in the middle of fighting the huge swarm of flyboys that had decided to drop in on our nice gathering when I'd gotten surrounded and beat up a little too badly.

I was bleeding, and heavily, and was pretty sure I'd broken my leg. There were flyboys surrounding me, I couldn't see the flock…and then, suddenly, I was away from the fight. Someone who had been holding me had laid me here in the cave.

"Fang," I had muttered, to my extreme embarrassment.

"No, nitwit, it's me." Max II. I had seen her when the flyboys landed. How she could still be working for Itex was completely mind-blowing. Like, evil organization, hellooo. The look in her eyes when she landed was not one that looked like she was going to kill us all, though. Maybe she had been sent here, or something?

I didn't bother trying to wrap my mind around it. The more important issue was my flock and the danger I had been in moments before.

"What are you doing with me?" I demanded harshly.

It seemed as if she had come to my rescue. Whatever she had been wearing was stained with what looked suspiciously like my blood. This was not good.

"I don't want to just leave you here, but if we wait for the flyboys, you're going to be dead meat," she said. "If the flyboys think I'm you they'll attack me instead. I'll kick their butts and I'll get your little friends to come get you after, if you haven't managed to screw it up somehow already. Got it?"

I was confused. "Why are you trying to help me?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Do you want me to kill you now instead?"

"Like you could."

"Look at you, laying there all wounded on the floor. Come on, you couldn't even handle a few robots and you think you can take me on? _Please." _With that, she abruptly jumped out of the cave and down to where I assumed the fight was still going on.

Hours passed, and I grew more concerned. Either the flock had been taken back to the school, or they had managed to hold off the flyboys for now. So right now I either had to save them or wonder why they didn't care that I wasn't there.

Maybe something more serious was going on – maybe somebody else had gotten hurt. Maybe they needed to go the – gulp – hospital again, and were forced to leave me behind. This was assuming they knew where I was.

That was when I realized how stupid I had actually been. Max II had set me up. Instead of taking me to the school, she'd caught me at my weakest and left me somewhere to die. Then she'd either convince the flock not to look for me or have her little drone army lock them up.

Basically, any way you looked at it, I was screwed.

--

"I think we should go for a flight."

Angel could barely register that Fang had spoken – she'd grown accustomed to his silence lately.

Everyone, a little in shock, kind of nodded their heads, and they walked out the front door and around the house, where they could take off and fly where nobody could see them.

As Fang was taking off, Nudge suddenly shouted, "No!"

He only looked at her quizzically.

She seemed embarrassed, but continued. "I mean, I don't think we should fly without Max. It seems…wrong. I won't do it."

"Does that mean you're not going to fly ever again?" Iggy voice was bitingly sarcastic.

Nudge just shook her head adamantly.

Angel heard Fang debating in his head over what to say, and thought he might have sighed a little.

"Nudge, do you think Max would have wanted you to stop flying?" Angel could tell he really didn't want to use that card. It seemed to solidify things in his mind, making their lives like some cheesy _Full House _episode.

Slowly Nudge shook her head, arguing with herself. "She wouldn't but…it's still wrong, Fang. What if she's still alive and we're off flying?"

Fang's expression became grim. "Nudge, you saw –"

"I _know _I saw, but it could have been –"

"You guys, STOP," Angel said, not able to bear it anymore. "Max is alive. Max isn't dead."

Fang closed his eyes and sighed again. "Angel, I know you're hurting right now. We all are, but –"

"But I know it, Fang!" she shouted, tears coming to her eyes. "I know it! I'm not lying. I don't know how she did it, but…but…"

Fang gripped Angel's shoulders. "She was fighting a flyboy and her neck snapped, Angel. There's no way you can recover from that, unless you happen to be a mutant wolf controlled by an evil organization."

Angel cried harder. "She's alive, Fang! We need to find her!"

In his mind, he was firmly resisting the urge to shake her. Instead, he looked her squarely in the eyes and still avoided her comment.

"We're going inside, guys. We'll fly another day."

--

I shoved myself up, grimacing. I could do this. Find the flock, recover, get food, save them…except not in that order.

Using the cave wall to support myself, I maneuvered my way to the cave entrance, where my leg gave out and I collapsed, grimacing. When I looked up, though, there was a bigger reason to be horrified. A scene of total destruction lay before me. Dead – broken flyboys lay all over, metal limbs torn from their bodies with wires covering the ground. I could see dark blood stains in various places, which made me worry about the flock even more.

I hobbled out into the scene and noticed something odd off to the side.

It looked odd, because it was the only color I could see anywhere near. When I came closer, I realized there were piles and piles of wildflowers gathered around a patch of raised ground. Lying on the dirt were 6 feathers all arranged in a kind of a star, and I realized there was one for each of the flock. I saw the white of Angel's wings, the brown of Nudge's, the midnight black of Fang's, the gray of Iggy's, and the light tan color of Gazzy's, all resting together. There was another, in the center, that I recognized as my own, mixed tan and white and black.

A horrible thought shot through me then – were the flock buried here? I noticed a note lying on the ground next to the feathers and was almost scared to read it in case it confirmed my fear. My stomach clenching, I picked it up and read:

_Here lies Maximum Ride, leader, mother, daughter._

I almost gasped. I wasn't dead. I was sitting right here. Did that mean Max II… I stopped thinking about it, turning back to the note, recognizing Fang's neat handwriting.

_Dear Max,_

_That beginning sounded corny, but we've never written anything like this before. Basically, Maximum Ride, the one person we can't live without, is gone forever. She's here, under all these ridiculous flowers. Sorry, Max, wherever you are, if you can see this, but Angel insisted we get flowers and put them here. Hope you can't smell them down there – up there – wherever._

_We know you can't read this, but in case you're looking down from wherever, we all just wanted to write something…commemorate you – her – whoever's going to read this needs to know this, that Maximum Ride was a brilliant, brave, strong, caring person who was important to all of us._

_We wanted to say that we're going to miss her, never forget her, though we might try sometimes. That everything she meant to us, everything we did together, everything - _

After that, the handwriting changed and I remembered Nudge's curly scrawl. The paper was stained with tears.

_Fang won't write this anymore. Says he can't. But Angel, Gazzy, Iggy, and I wanted to say that Max was the one person we can – could – count on since ever. She saved us, she fed us, she clothed us, she was like our mom. I hope wherever she is she's not still worrying about us. She deserves a break._

_We don't know what to say anymore. All of us are crying now, except for Fang, except he's barely opened his mouth since he was digging the grave. Since he's not talking, I'll talk for him. He loved her – he loved you, Max. Well, we all loved you. But, you know, you guys were best friends and…well, I'd probably just be lying to make you feel better if I said Fang's going to smile ever again. Iggy won't crack a joke for a long while, Gazzy won't make a bomb, I might not even talk…let's just hope Angel will start breathing through all the crying._

_This could go on for hours – you know me. We love you so much, Max. We still can't believe you're gone. If anyone ever reads this, think about the kind of person you are and know that Max was ten times better than you'll ever be._

_Goodbye,_

_The Flock._

My breathing was shallow and strained. There was no doubt this was written by the flock…they thought I was dead. The had no idea that I was sitting there, waiting for them.

Then I realized what I should have gotten instinctively. They were sure I was dead. That meant there was a body. That meant –

I dug into the ground, knowing what I was going to find.

Sure enough, I found her. When I did, I could barely look, and despite the fact that I'd never really liked Max II, it hurt to see her blank and unseeing eyes. I found myself tearing up – she had died to save me, died to keep the flock from losing me.

And the flock thought I was dead anyway.

I took the note they had written, folded it, and put it in my pocket. It hurt me to be reminded of their sadness, but it served as a motivator. I needed to find them. I needed to get to them and tell them I wasn't dead. The problem was finding them – Fang was in charge ,and I knew he would do what was best for everyone while I was gone.

It didn't seem to me like a big deal right then – the flock though I was gone, but I knew I wasn't, of course. But then I realized – what must Fang, Angel, Nudge, Gazzy, Iggy be thinking? What if Fang really wasn't smiling, and Nudge wasn't talking, and Gazzy wasn't making bombs, and Iggy wasn't cracking jokes?

This wasn't about finding them. This was about saving them. In a weird, twisted way.

Flock, here I come.

-o0o-o0o-o0o-o0o-

Fang flew higher and higher, letting the wind ruffle his feathers, disappearing into the night. Right now, he didn't care about the flock, he didn't care about Max, he didn't care about anything. He was nothing, he was invisible, just a dark shape moving through a dark sky.

The feeling wasn't good, exactly, but the nothingness was almost a reprieve from everything else he'd been feeling the past few days. He needed an escape from all the grief, the emptiness…so if the flock wouldn't let him fly with him, he would do it by himself.

As he flew higher and the sky grew blacker, Fang started getting colder. Soon, his body was like an icicle. It was okay, though – the numbness on the outside matched that of his insides.

_Fang, where are you? _It was Angel, calling him.

He didn't reply, but flew faster, farther away from the house.

_Fang? We need you here. Please._

How had she known he was going to run away? He hadn't even thought it. Soon, he would be far enough away that she couldn't read his mind at all.

_Sorry, Angel, _he thought, stopping and turning back to the house, then sped away again.

He didn't know where he was going. Somewhere far away. Somewhere he could stay the night and get away from the flock, their grief, their pity, their anger. No. He needed to be by himself, just for once.


End file.
